Any seasoned teacher will tell you that sometimes a lesson just isn’t going as perfectly planned in the plan book, the kids just aren’t “getting it” and it’s getting worse by the moment. Those are the times it’s just best to move on and not dig yourself any deeper. Years ago, when I was still a very green teacher, I would berate myself over these frustrating moments, blame myself and seriously doubt my calling to teaching special education. Now, it’s so different, I just simply move on and realize that some days working as a Wal-mart greeter looks really appealing!
Moving on from a situation takes a conscious choice, effort and an attitude change. The illness situation with Daniel over the past two years has consumed our family, whether we wanted it to or not. When I look back over each doctor visit, each place we searched for answers I suppose I could have done things differently. We go to doctors thinking we’ll get instant answers, a prescription and will feel better within a few days. That mindset for me has been completely shattered and I’m moving on to the reality that the medical field really doesn’t have all the answers….only God does.
The past few days in Cleveland, Ohio were a lot of “firsts” for me…printing airlane tickets from my laptop,walking througt strict airline security, renting a car, driving in a place I’d never been before, returning a rental car, and getting new plane tickets when we had to be re-routed. And, by the way, little miss directionally impaired only made one wrong turn in the entire trip! I have moved on from believing these tasks were beyond my capabillity and have become an assertive mom who moves forward and doesn’t look back.
It’s also time for me to move on from the stress a family illness brings just from the change in routine, and the unknowns faced. I don’t question why this happened, eventually we’ll get to the other side of it and have a life-changing testimony. Until then, I need to rest in the fact that we, as a family, have done all we can possibly do to help restore Daniel’s health. The would of’s. could of’s, should of’s need to be banished and replaced by trust, hope and simply being still.
Moving on means my attitude needs to reflect my faith. Have I shown faith, and unwavering trust during this entire journey? I can honestly say I have not shown worry, but trickles of doubt….yes….definitely. Not happy about it, but again, I’m moving on to an attitude of trust….even when I have to say out loud, “LORD, I don’t understand, but I trust You and You alone!”
It is…time….to move on.