Standing Firm in Sinking Sand

      Our life has changed from buying a gallon of milk every 2 days to reading every food label before serving it to Daniel.  His dairy allergy has abruptly turned us around and placed us smack dab in the middle of a huge learning curve. Dairy free snacks are designated for him in his very own snack drawer now.  Our refrigerator has only soy milk or almond milk; and there is a basket on the counter for all his supplements.The pantry now has dairy free flours and egg replacers for me to bake homemade goodies. 

     Within 24 hours of no dairy, his speech improved and after 2 days his skin was almost completely clear. As we continue, his energy levels are still not what they should be, but the “brain fog” is lifting. His dry sense of humor is coming back and I had forgotten how much fun it is to simply laugh with him.  He’s still tired at the end of the school day, but he is staying alert for longer periods of time. 

     I am so thankful, so grateful, so glad we finally have some answers.  For the longest time, my prayers were pleading for just answers. Now we have some, and we are dealing with it one day at a time. As with anyone who faces the adversity of a sick child, stress takes it toll no matter how much we pray.  Our GOK fund (GOD only knows) has been depleted more than once by medical bills, and we are still dealing with a rejection of medical services from our insurance company.  On my snow day yesterday, I was filing bill receipts and found the county car tags for our daughter still sealed in the envelope…that were supposed to be on her car last month!  Then I found an overdue notice for a utility bill. Frantic, I called and found out that I had already paid the bill a few weeks ago. I don’t even remember paying the bill.  Sleep has been a commodity more than once during these long months.  Yes, stress has definitely taken its toll.
Standing firm while taking care of an ill child becomes a ideal you strive for, a goal to hang onto, a routine to keep your sanity. Standing firm is my daily 5:30am appointment with God every morning in my sunroom with a hot cup of coffee. Standing firm is the kiss and hug I give my husband every day. Standing firm is telling my children how much I love them. Standing firm is filling my mind and ears with Christian music every morning on my way to work. Standing firm is going to work every day and doing the very best I can while I’m there. Standing firm is cooking a meal for my family every evening and saying blessing before we eat it. Standing firm means I keep going even though stress exhausts me and makes me forgetful. Standing firm means you still come out fighting for your child when all the chips are down and every resource has been depleted. Standing firm…in sinking sand…you pull, grasp, heave and hang on…until you reach firmer ground.

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