This morning was a rough one trying to coax Daniel out of bed and then finally acknowledging that he just couldn’t get up today. The traffic was more than unbearable because I left the house later than I usually do. Then, when I got to school I literally could not get into the parking because of the parents waiting in line to drop off their children. So, I parked illegally, ran into school, did my breakfast duty and then ran back out to re-park my car! I barely made into my classroom before the children started coming into room. There on my desk was a Tropical Smoothie white cup with the straw sitting on top…a perfect gift for such a hectic morning. One of my fellow teachers had bought for me, just because she was thinking of me. That Mocha Madness smoothie was a gift that was savored all morning long!
During this stressful journey of our lives, I can choose to be bitter, negative and wallow in self-pity or I can choose to open my eyes to God’s good and perfect gifts. Though God has chosen to be silent in my life right now, He has not forsaken me. He still shows His Holy presence through unexpected gifts. In the last month, which has been especially stressful, God has provided so much for us: gift cards to restaurants given by my special education team, a grocery store gift card given by a dear neighbor and our next door neighbor even cut the grass for us because our lawn mower was being repaired. These gifts are not coincidences, they are the Hands of God being shown through His obedient servants.
Though God is silent during this trial, His actions point to mercy, to sufficiency, to compassion. I could easily throw up my hands and say, “I give up” and curl up in a cocoon of self-pity…but what good would it do? Tears still fall, frustration continues, and I’m still fighting with the insurance company ( second denial of services came in today’s mail). Exhaustion is real and it’s ugly. Bottom line, we live in a fallen world but I refuse to let go of being resilient, being faithful and being strong. Maybe I’m just too stubborn for my own good, but I know God WILL come through on His time, with His will and will continue to shower us with His good and perfect gifts until we get to the other side.