God’s Plans

     In Jeremiah 29:11 God promises us He has plans for us, plans to prosper us, not to harm us and for our future.  This verse is a favorite, and has been put in frames in the house, prayed over my children and whispered silently for reassurance.  God’s plans…far too creative and mighty for me to even begin to understand, but also a wonder to my heavy soul tonight.  Tears are blurring any reasoning I may have at the moment, and I am clinging to His ways, His thoughts and ultimately, His plans.    
Within a thirty minute time span today, our son Daniel’s education plan was radically changed.  Unfortunately, he has not responded positively or consistently to any medication attempted to keep him awake and alert while he battles the throes of Klein-Levin Syndrome. We have hoped, we have desperately prayed, but God has chosen to be silent in this time in our lives and the medical journey with sweet seventeen year old Daniel rages on and on.  Daniel, a bright child, was chosen as one of 52 county students out of hundreds of applicants to be in the Governor’s Academy for Engineering Studies.  The first two grading periods, he thrived and performed well, then this maddening syndrome entered his life and all spiraled downward at an accelerating speed.  Now, because of medical issues way beyond his control, he will no longer be in the engineering program and will probably have to be on homebound instruction if the county can secure a certified teacher for him. Not exactly the plans we had in mind for him, not what we envisioned for our youngest son and certainly not at all what we wanted for him.  I wish I could be a perfect Christian woman, totally submit and feel peace in God’s promises and His presence.  Sorry to disappoint those reading this right now, but all I want to do is scream, “WHY?” Why do his dreams have to be shattered? Why do we have to constantly have to battle with the insurance company for his medications?  Why won’t the medications WORK?  Why can’t he have a normal teen-age high school life?  Oh yes…it’s a believer having a hissy fit!    
Realistically and logically, I know it will eventually work out, but at this moment I just want to smack the next person who says to me,”He’ll be fine, he’s bright, he’s smart, he’s a great kid.” I know the comments are well-intended, but he’s not your child. We don’t need pie in sky positive comments, we need a hug, we need prayers and we need time with our family to heal and to appreciate one another.
God really is good and I know He’ll show His glory. I’m also glad He uses ordinary people to do His work. There’s nothing pretty about a fifty-something believer having a hissy fit, but somehow, someway, God will use this broken vessel for His kingdom. He does have plans for us and I will keep believing even though it hurts right now. God is in control.

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